A new South African television series created by an Eastern Cape-born writer and director and his wife examines why fathers are held to a different standard than mothers.
Filmed in Durbanville in the Cape, Beter as Gister stars Frank Rautenbach who grew up in East London and who recently played the lead in M-Net’s hit family series Summertide.
The Daily Dispatch was at the Cape Town launch of the 13-part series which has English subtitles and which begins on Kyknet at the end of June.
Corné and René van Rooyen are the writer-director duo behind both Summertide and Beter as Gister and say family life lies at the heart of both shows.
In particular, the couple, who have a five-year-old daughter Hannah, wanted to focus on men who are good fathers, although they say men do not have to do very much to be hailed as great dads.
“You change a nappy and you almost get a standing ovation!” explains Corné.
“I walked around with Hannah to get her to sleep and people would say: ‘Wow, you really are a good father’. But when a woman does exactly the same thing, she’s not a hero. She’s just a mother.”
The couple say people also assume fathers are ‘helping’ mothers to parent, when they are in fact equal parents.
“They ask if I am babysitting today. I’d get praised for being an amazing dad for doing the bare minimum by parents or society. The bar for being a good dad is extremely low.
“I also want dads not to be ashamed of being good dads. A lot of times I’m the only dad picking my daughter up from school every day. I’m the only man standing there.”
Corné, who was born in Fort Beaufort and spent the first few years of his life in Alice, where his father studied agricultural economics at Fort Hare University, says he values his Eastern Cape heritage.
“I’m proud of beginning my life there. As an adult I visited Hogsback and I was excited to drive past where I was born.”
The series, which also stars Neels van Jaarsveld, Edwin van der Walt, Elton Landrew, June van Merch and Melanie du Bois, focuses on four families – focusing especially on the fathers in each.
“The show is about being a good dad and how much it takes. It is about men being good fathers. It does not portray fathers that are useless. I want to put men on screen that are good fathers. I want the audience to see role models and to see how men struggle to be good fathers.”
Beter as Gister revolves around four fathers of different ages. There is the grandfather who has to look after his granddaughter who he has never met after his daughter dies, a father who is a househusband because his wife is in politics and who has to go back into the workforce for the first time in years and a single man in his twenties who has an autistic child.
East London-born Frank is the fourth father, Bernard Kruger. He plays a hardened, impatient and angry businessman married to Karen (Hanna Grobler), a kind-hearted schoolteacher, and they have two children.
Kruger will do anything for success but life changes in an instant and he has to redefine what it means to be a good man and father.
A sneak preview of the first two episodes of Beter as Gister showed Rautenbach, who is most widely known for his performance in The Bang Bang Club, Faith Like Potatoes and Hansie: a True Story, in an emotionally compelling yet restrained performance.
“Frank himself is very likable but his character in Beter as Gister is not that likable,” says Corné. “He is a father who works and works and doesn’t have time for his family and has a very toxic relationship with his son and masculinity.
“Frank is extremely endearing to audiences. He made the character more human and have some heart.
“He is a very creative person and so we have a collaboration with him.”
Interestingly, none of the four actors who portray fathers have children of their own.
“Frank really wanted to be a father and in Summertide he played a dad. We made him a movie dad and he still gets Father’s Day presents from his screen kids in Summertide. He experiences being a father on these shows...”
Corné, who now lives in Stellenbosch with his family, says fatherhood has changed since his parents were young.
“My parents were baby boomers. Men were taught differently - to provide for a family. I always remember my dad being available, but it’s also being emotionally available that is difficult for Afrikaans men from that era and I think things are changing in that men need to be more emotionally available to their kids, and that’s quite a wall to break.”
“You become so linked to their emotions and that makes you vulnerable as a parent and I think you have to be that. You can’t guard yourself against that.”
The couple was already in development for Beter as Gister when the 52-episode M-net series Summertide was being filmed.
“We have done a few series of family shows,” says René. “We did Alles Malan which was hugely successful on Kyknet and then we thought it would be interesting to explore family life in English society and make it really authentic. On my side I have Afrikaans and English family and so I took snippets from my experiences on the English side and then we wanted the beautiful setting of Simonstown.
“It’s the real old English values – they don’t drive fancy cars, but their heritage is very important to them. And the marine conservation is very topical on that coast.”
“So we draw from our personal lives. And Beter as Gister is personal. It’s about showing the audience a slice of your life that’s so personal."
“It’s funny how our parents and families react to our shows because they can see themselves,” laughs Corné. “But we also want people to recognise themselves. It’s not just about escapism.”
“In Covid we were available because no one really worked and we had a baby and all our attention was on her.
“Men are more involved than they were during my parents’ time.”
When the couple pitched the show and discussed it with family, they were met with the assumption that it would be a wacky comedy about inept dads.
“People thought it was a comedy about men struggling with kids and no one could see how it could be a drama. They thought it was one of those house-husband shows where the kid pees in the guy’s face when he changes a diaper with duct tape. Because society didn’t see us men caring for kids.”
René, who at one point was working for extended periods away from home, says school WhatsApp groups are geared towards mothers and tend to leave fathers out.
“In our relationship it is easy because we both have exactly the same job but at school it is the moms who are on the groups who take part in all the activities. And yet we have this same workload to manage. Corné honours my need to work and my career.
“He is actually the better empathic, emotional parent and yet we just had someone tell us that men don’t understand their children’s emotions and that’s why mothers are the better parent, but in our relationship he is far better.
“When our daughter cries he comforts her while I just rush to get medicine. So we have to look at how we are raising healthy children in a modern society where both parents are working.
“A father has to fight a lot harder to build a connection with a kid, mostly because society doesn’t allow men,” agrees Corné.
“I don’t get put on school groups. I have to ask to get put on. I want to know if my pick-up time has changed and it all gets sent to Rene, as do the birthday party invitations...”
“That is why with this show I want people to understand the role of a dad and also to allow men into these parenting groups. When she was a toddler I attended the Moms and Tots gatherings and one lady asked me if it was ‘dad day today’. And I said no, the woman has to bring the bacon home!
“It’s about how as a man you have to work harder to build a connection because you don’t give birth or breastfeed so as a man you have to go the extra mile to build it. Yet most men walk away from that process.”
“At the daycare the children always call for mommy, except for our daughter who always called for her daddy. They have such a good bond,” says Rene.
· Beter as Gister premieres on June 30 at 8pm on Kyknet (DStv channel 144) and will also be available on DStv Stream and Catch Up.
